Quite often people who live with a great alcoholic spend much in the event that, not all, of their time looking after any drinker. They worry about when ever he will arrive home, even if he will arrive home. They worry about what condition he will be in when he shows up home, whether he will maintain a good mood or going bad for a fight.
It is a surprise that anyone living with a great alcoholic has time to undertake anything else, other than see recommended to their drinker. Organisations such as Al-anon rightly suggest that anyone exactly who lives with an alcoholic needs to detach. That is they must stand back from the alcoholic and let him lead his own life.
Your self esteem will boost and your depression and anxiety levels will decrease. Having interests outside the home and also the alcoholic will make you much more interesting and will reduce your amounts of resentment. It will help you to produce a support network that could retain you when things happen to be difficult.
There may be something that you have always wanted to do, for instance you may have wanted to learn more about using computers, or learn about images or learn to paint. These include things that you can do for you.
One thing that may help is to always have a life of your own. As many people who live with alcoholics do, you may have been meeting for your alcoholic and being sure that the world does not know of the problems. This wall of secrecy is a double edged sword.
On the one hand it protects you from the shame and stigma in the problem drinking behaviour. The idea hides the worst in the anguish, arguments and anxiousness but it also cuts you far from the very people that can help, your family members.
Lastly it will eliminate the fear of being left all on your own if the relationship finally turns into unsustainable. So if you live with an alcoholic make sure that you enjoy a life for yourself and that you may have a network of family and friends that can support you at any given time.
There are real benefits to having ones own life. If you focus on something other than your alcohol addiction means then you will spend less time worrying about him and his behaviour. Research suggests that being left to fend for their self can bring the reality of your partner’s problem home to your ex boyfriend.
Which means worrying about him not as much, stopping clearing up after her and no longer making excuses for him and generally letting him experience the effects of his drinking. Advised this is not an easy thing to do, particularly if you have been caught up for his drinking for some years.
Most people who live by means of an alcoholic find themselves sacrificing touch with their friends. This doesn’t usually happen quickly, instead it happens over time whenever you refuse first one invitation, then another. Soon you will discover no invitations to turn down any more.
It is time to improve that situation. It is time for them to, not only accept invitations, but also to issue a couple for yourself. It is time to give up hiding away and to stop being secretive about the conditions that you are facing. It is the perfect time to stop living in the darkness of the alcoholic and start living for yourself.